Buenas o malas, santas o putas

El juicio al que estamos sometidas las mujeres según cómo vivamos la sexualidad

 Por Nermary Yibirin / @nermaryyibirin

Hace un tiempo leí un texto que lamentablemente no tenía el nombre de la autora, pero su contenido es oportuno citarlo, pues revela la mirada prejuiciada y sesgada de lo que es ser una “mala” o “buena” mujer y cómo esto se liga expresamente con nuestra sexualidad:

“La sociedad califica y señala con la palabra puta a»: 

Las madres solteras, las amantes, las artistas, las actrices, las solteras, las cantantes, las estudiantes, las trabajadoras, las divorciadas, las adolescentes embarazadas, las chicas populares, las que se arreglan mucho, las que se masturban, las rebeldes, las que han sido violadas, las que se conocen, las inteligentes, las autónomas.

Las que se acuestan con quien quieren sin cobrar, las que cobran, las locas, las que disfrutan, las fiesteras, las que viven solas, las fuertes, las que se dedican, las que se visten como quieren, las que van y vienen a su antojo, las que tienen muchos amigos…

No importa lo que haga una mujer, será llamada puta por ser libre, por ser ella misma.

Lo contrario a esto es: La madre abnegada, la sumisa, la dependiente, la violentada, la golpeada, la santa, la que sabe cocinar, planchar y lavar, la mujer ideal para un hombre machista, la delicada, la sensible, la débil, la maternal, la que no dice lo que piensa, la que no cuestiona, la que se casa aunque no lo quiera por el hecho de haber salido embarazada…

“Las mujeres en la historia siempre han tenido esta dicotomía, eres buena o mala, eres santa o puta”.

En esta dicotomía precisamente estriba que haya mujeres que ejerzan una sexualidad más plena y libre, y mujeres que lleven una vida insatisfecha y reprimida.

Las primeras se han expuesto a señalamientos, juicios peyorativos, discriminación y exclusión social, en pro de romper con las amarras y experimentar una existencia más cónsona a lo que verdaderamente desean, no solo como seres sexuales, sino como humanas en todas las esferas de realización del ser.

Hablar de sexo y sexualidad sigue siendo  -en pleno siglo XXI y en cuanto al ejercicio de la sexualidad de la mujer se refiere- un tema tabú, un asunto del que debe evitarse en lo posible hablar, pues dentro de los roles y creencias que sobre la mujer se han impuesto, es un asunto vetado.

En la cultura latinoamericana existe una represión  solapada pero tácita en torno a la vida sexual de las mujeres. 

A las mujeres no se nos niega de forma explícita sentir placer carnal, como sí sucede en otras culturas; pero los instintos naturales de la sexualidad femenina se deben esconder, callar; deben permanecer en secreto.

Y vivimos siendo víctimas y victimarias de una serie de mitos, alimentados con prejuicios, sobre la “santidad” de la mujer, y siendo esto así, es casi imposible concebirnos a nosotras mismas como personas con libertad.

Vivimos siempre juzgadas y también, juzgándonos.

Convivimos en sociedades de doble moral, porque le damos más valor al parecer que al ser. En secreto o a escondidas nos saltamos las normas establecidas por la sociedad, pero fingimos en la vida pública estar muy bien acopladas(o) y complacidas(o) con esos prerrequisitos.

Preferimos  -por una serie de factores- vivir una vida en la que se “acomodan” algunas mentiras, una vida que transcurre con inconformidad e insatisfacción; por elección o sin darnos cuenta, nos encaminamos por lo “bien juzgado” antes que atrevernos a una vida de auténtica libertad.

La verdad es que somos las mismas mujeres las que muchas veces señalamos de malas o de putas a otras mujeres y lo curioso es que, en el fondo, no lo hacemos porque sus actos estén reñidos con lo establecido, tampoco por considerarlo realmente malo, errado o inapropiado.

Lo hacemos, en verdad, por la impotencia que nos genera ver cómo otra mujer sí se atreve a vivir emancipada y liberada de prejuicios, una mujer cuyo discurso y acciones son congruentes.

 ¿Por qué castigamos a quién elige sacar a la luz del sol las verdades que otras deciden ocultar?

Verdades como que las mujeres también nos masturbamos, por ejemplo. Y que lo hacemos desde la pubertad, que también nos podemos despertar excitadas, que vemos películas eróticas; que a veces necesitamos un orgasmo para relajarnos, para aliviar un dolor de cabeza o para dormir mejor.

Las mujeres también tenemos fantasías y también imaginamos situaciones excitantes. A veces mojamos nuestra ropa interior solo con escuchar o leer algunas palabras. 

Tenemos la misma intensidad sexual que los hombres, lo que cambia es nuestra educación, los prejuicios con los que vivimos y seguimos apoyando, los mitos que sostenidos por la religión, la cultura y la sociedad.

 Religiones como la católica, por ejemplo, que como gran protagonista femenina tiene a una “virgen”, siendo así su sexualidad lo que la define, asociando virgen con santa y automáticamente el sexo con pecado. 

¿Por qué no cambiar esto? 

 ¿Por qué no decir: soy mujer, soy un ser humano, soy sexual, soy libre, no quiero vivir en una sociedad donde sigamos siendo presas de estereotipos o juicios? 

Sin libertad no hay plenitud, las mujeres necesitamos ser libres, de vestir, hacer, hablar, pensar y sentir lo que nos dé la gana sin que por ello nos juzguen ni nos juzguemos, sin que nos insulten ni nos insultemos; sin que nos violenten, sin que nos violentemos.

Vivir nuestra sexualidad jamás debe ser un pecado. 

No somos ni santas, ni putas.

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