¿Cómo podemos lograr el bienestar de nuestros hijos en este tiempo?

Autor: María Eugenia Ruíz / Psicólogo/Coach transaccional

En los últimos tiempos nos hemos enfrentado a grandes desafíos que han puesto de manifiesto nuestras competencias como adultos para manejar la adversidad.

El miedo, la ansiedad, la angustia (ataques de pánico), la incertidumbre; por momentos nos han superado, pero también han dejado al descubierto esas áreas de nuestra vida que necesitamos fortalecer para permanecer en bienestar y adaptarnos a todos los retos que puedan venir

Albert Einstein concluyó que:

“Es en la crisis donde nace la inventiva, los descubrimientos y las grandes estrategias…”, “Quien supera la crisis se supera a sí mismo sin quedar superado…”.

El confinamiento por la pandemia que vivimos, ya desde hace más de un año, en el mundo entero y en nuestro país puede ser para los padres una oportunidad de modelar y así enseñar a sus hijos (niños o adolescentes) habilidades de resiliencia para toda la vida.

“Si los padres están bien, los hijos están bien”

Esa afirmación implica que las herramientas emocionales que posean los padres para enfrentar las crisis también serán adquiridas por los hijos.

El confinamiento es más llevadero cuando en el hogar hay modelos de resiliencia y de inteligencia emocional (capacidad de reconocer nuestros propios sentimientos y los de los demás, de motivarnos y de manejar adecuadamente las relaciones).

Si como adultos no somos capaces de manejar nuestras propias emociones, no podemos pedir o exigir a nuestros hijos que lo hagan. Si vemos que un niño o adolescente manifiesta:

  • Falta de energía
  • Insomnio
  • Pesadillas
  • Inapetencia
  • Se muestra irritable o triste
  • Quejas de dolores de cabeza o de estómago
  • Se mantiene aislado
  • Manifiesta conductas autoagresivas o cambios drásticos
  • Verbalizaciones de querer morirse
  • Obsesión en torno a infectarse con el virus
  • Lavado compulsivo de manos

Y otras medidas irracionales y extremas, o cualquier otra conducta anómala; debemos buscar ayuda profesional porque posiblemente el estrés transmitido en el hogar y por las redes sociales lo ha rebasado.

Algunos niños y adolescentes son de temperamento relajado y se adaptan fácilmente a cualquier situación, otros se estresan con mayor facilidad. Quienes manejan mejor las situaciones estresantes son:

  • Los que poseen una elevada autoestima.
  • Los que han sido entrenados en habilidades de solución de problemas.
  • Los que se sienten apoyados y comprendidos por los padres, familia en general y amigos.

Es importante conducir como padre tus sentimientos y experiencias, para ayudar a tus hijos con tu modelo a construir resiliencia, autonomía y bienestar ante toda vivencia.

Te presento a continuación una serie de recomendaciones que te pueden ayudar en estos objetivos:

Sea amable consigo mismo, no exigente, no buscando todo el tiempo la perfección, dese el permiso de cometer errores como todo ser humano y transforme el error en una oportunidad de aprendizaje; no se imagina la protección emocional tan grande que esto da a niños y adolescentes.

Es necesario dejar salir las emociones, no reprimirlas sino expresarlas para procesarlas. No hay emociones buenas, ni malas; todas son necesarias. Cuando habla de ellas con sus hijos los invita también a que las expresen, verán que sacarlas es necesario y sanador.

Haga consciente dentro del hogar el tono de su voz ¿Invita a serenidad, a tranquilidad, a paz?

Di a tus hijos:

“Esto que estamos viviendo también pasará, lo superaremos juntos, yo estaré siempre a tu lado”.

Aprenda a ponerse en el lugar de su hijo que está encerrado, sin poder ir a sus clases, sin ver a sus amigos y familia; así comprenderá cómo se siente, cómo piensa y por qué se comporta de una u otra manera.

Propicie un ambiente de paz en su hogar, en su relación de pareja, sin peleas, sin gritos, sin maltrato físico; ni psicológico (no es un buen momento para tomar decisiones de divorciarse).

Busque ayuda para manejar esos problemas que se taparon por mucho tiempo y se evidenciaron en el confinamiento, las crisis son oportunidades de mejoras.

Solucione sólo lo que esté a su alcance y suelte lo que no esté en sus manos resolver, eso enseñará a sus hijos a no presionarse más de lo que puedan dar.

También reconozca que no puede hacerlo todo al mismo tiempo, vaya por partes, sea compasivo con usted mismo y así educará a sus hijos para que sean de igual manera con ellos.

Encuentre alegría en las cosas que hace, en el servicio a los demás, mantenga vivo su propósito de vida y compártalo con sus hijos, muéstrele lo bien que se siente ayudar a otros desde cualquier lugar desde donde se esté.

La alegría de dar, genera bienestar y enseña también que recibir es bueno.

Muestre flexibilidad y capacidad de adaptarse a cualquier circunstancia, busque siempre las opciones de solución, quejarse sólo aumenta las dificultades y enseña a los hijos a ahogarse en un vaso con agua y a no solucionar el problema.

hijos

Mantenga viva la fe, la esperanza y una actitud positiva en su hogar, deje de lado el pensamiento catastrofizador:

Oren o recen en familia y hagan planes de todo lo que harán cuando todo esto termine, lleve a sus hijos a soñar.

Conéctese por video llamada con el resto de la familia y amigos, aproveche la bendición de la tecnología para ver y decirle a sus seres queridos cuanto los aman, esas palabras amorosas fortalecen nuestro sistema inmune y nos ayudan a no sentirnos solos, ni aislados de los que amamos, sus hijos sentirán que la familia está cerca y que esta pandemia no los ha separado.

El comentar noticias fatalistas o sostener a toda voz conversaciones telefónicas de las mismas, propicia el temor y un ambiente de inseguridad en los hijos; los lleva a pensar que su salud o la de sus seres queridos están en riesgo.

Fomente en ellos la importancia de quedarse en casa para que todo esto pase pronto, y dele reconocimiento por su sacrificio de estar confinado, reafirmándole que este solo será temporal.

Cuídese en su alimentación y haga ejercicio físico en casa o en ambientes protegidos, así los invitará a hacer lo mismo.

Sea parte de sus juegos o invítelos, de acuerdo a su edad, a juegos de mesa. Déjelos correr y esparcir sus juguetes libremente por la casa, para que se separen un poco de los aparatos electrónicos y compartan en familia.

Si sientes que la ansiedad te rebasa y no puedes controlar tu emocionalidad busca la ayuda necesaria para que puedas aprender a desarrollar todas estas estrategias de afrontamiento, porque “tus hijos sólo estarán bien, si tú estás bien”.

@psicomaru_ruiz

534 comentarios en “¿Cómo podemos lograr el bienestar de nuestros hijos en este tiempo?”

  1. Excelente información, gracias por compartir.. La pandemia ha significado un cambio brusco en la rutina de nuestras familias, pero a la vez nos ha unido más aún, dándonos la oportunidad de compartir momentos y cosas que antes por la premura del día a día no podíamos. En lo personal agradezco haber tenido la oportunidad de pasar 6 largos y hermosos meses al lado de mi hija, ya que he trabajado todo el tiempo desde que ella nació. Saludos

  2. Es así, Pero todo tiene una enseñanza, gracias por su artículo es de mucha ayuda. Nos enseña y nos recuerda que en medio de todo, siempre se puede cambiar. Nunca es tarde.

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